Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] So yeah, when I have a thought I gotta let it out It's a bright spot that I can't even doubt my opinions, my point of view Even if things are a little tripped and sweet so yeah, even if you disagree so yeah, even if I'm not in your pedagree so yeah especially if you agree so, so, so, so yeah Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever and whenever you're listening to it. Welcome to the so yeah podcast with your hostess with the mostess, Caroline M. Diamond.
[00:00:53] Stop applauding.
[00:00:57] I feel like I do that every single time. Like I give the intro and then I say like, girl, girl, chop the chop the likes.
[00:01:05] But like this post, here I go again.
[00:01:09] I in my last standup special, I have three stand up specials, by the way. Yeah, she's every woman. She's hilarious, she's been funny, she will always be funny. So in my third standup special, if you haven't checked it out, check it out. It's on YouTube. Lincoln bio.
[00:01:26] And I, I talk in my stand up special about pooping my pants. And I know that like it's, it's kind of taboo to talk about shitting your pants, but as I said in my special, like, everybody in their adult life is going to shit their pants. And if you have it, it's not a matter of if, it's just a matter of when. Yeah, sorry for you. Sorry for that ass. And you never think it's going to happen to you. I. Until it does. Till it happens to you. Okay?
[00:02:01] And it will hit you at a time when you are so vulnerable, you're not going to be prepared. And if you want to hear my whole shit story, you can go check out my special.
[00:02:14] But what I want to talk about today, as a poopy girl herself, where are the best places to take a shit in public? Okay? Because I'm here to break the news to you. I am the commentator of commentators.
[00:02:29] Everybody wants to give you something or tell you, like to give some hot take or whatever the hot take is. Girl, where am I going to shit? Okay? And as like a bargain, as somebody who like hates to pay for things, you think that your first choice would be to go to like a fast food joint. But they don't always have those open bathrooms. And now I gotta clench my cheeks and buy a Sprite from the front and then be like one code because it's the only fucking reason that I'm there.
[00:02:59] And then I go into the bathroom and it's always like, it's scary inside. Okay? And I don't like to gamble with the fact that like it might not just be a walk in bathroom toilet situation. I need to have, if I have to my pants and I'm out in the public eye. I need to have a guaranteed place for me to also like gas stations. Not all of them have it like Exxon or Chevron. I Babe, they don't always have a. They're like, we don't have a bathroom. I'm like, where do you poop?
[00:03:32] Where do you take a during your shift? Huh? Because I'm sure there's a bathroom there for you.
[00:03:36] Let me poop, girl.
[00:03:39] So where I found is like almost always a great place to are grocery stores.
[00:03:48] Now here's my qual with that.
[00:03:52] Not every store layout is the same.
[00:03:56] So sometimes I'd be walking in butt cheeks clenched for the gods. And some, some restrooms are in the front of store. Okay. Could be left, it could be right, it could be center, I don't know. And then if they're not in the front, Lord help me Jesus. Oh my God. If I am walking down the aisle. And the thing is like when you got a girl, you can't be, you can't be running.
[00:04:18] There can't be velocity behind it because the quicker that I go, the quicker that it comes. And usually that's an okay thing, but not for when you have to po. Okay, so as I'm walking through the aisle, confused, I'm like going through the back and sometimes it's like in the center, sometimes it's in the back corner. And then finally I find it, but it's not without risk, you know what I mean? And then sometimes, you know, I'll be walking in and they'll have also have a coat. So I'm like, let the girls poop. Please, for the love of God, let me shit. Because like what's gonna happen is I'm gonna end up taking a shit in the aisle and you're not gonn I'm going to be banned from the store and just let me poop, girl. Just let me poop. I'm not a crackhead. I'm not shooting up in the bathroom. Let me girl. Also when we're talking about bathrooms and like public bathrooms in general, I know that like as like a woman, the sometimes the seat scenario, like there's just like piss all over the seat. And I understand that, like obviously like that's a problem. But like girl, we don't have aim. Like I don't have a, I don't have an Exact, you know, telescope to go exactly where I'm going. Sometimes, you know, the folds be folding and it goes sideways. I don't know how to help you, but you know, like, I hear all the time like, oh my God, there's like piss on the seat, girl. Why are you sitting down?
[00:05:47] Who is sitting on toilet seats? That's my biggest error. Like, I haven't sat on a toilet seat since like 2000. Like, literally the new millennium said, we're done sitting on toilet seats. Why are we sitting on toilet seats?
[00:06:04] Why in the same vein of pooping. Because like, like, you know, the thing is, is that like nobody likes to talk about, but we all do it like every day. Hopefully. Hopefully you got some good bowels, girl, because get that fiber up insoluble fiber. Intake that fiber. Everyone wants to like protein, protein, protein. We need fiber.
[00:06:27] Okay, go poop.
[00:06:30] Go poop. So I recently just was. It was in a camper and RV and it made me go back to when I was like on a tour bus and this thought like, so you know, there's usually like bathrooms obviously, because, you know, go piss, girl.
[00:06:45] But did you know?
[00:06:48] Did you know that you're not allowed to poop on a tour bus?
[00:06:54] Did you know? Well, let me say that again. Did you know that you're not allowed to poop on a tour bus? That if you have to take a you gotta stop the entire fleet fleet of buses so you can go take a at the Burger King? How embarrassing, how embarrassing is that? You can only pee. I just like don't understand, like, why have a bathroom and I can't poop in like, obviously, like I understand that like it sits in a tank at the bottom of like the bus and whatever, but like, and, and so what, girl? Why can't you just like clean it out? Like, I don't understand like why I now can't shit. Because it like it's a cleaning thing. Like, do your job.
[00:07:36] What's the problem, girl?
[00:07:39] Yeah, because I was just in an RV and I realized I couldn't take a shit in it and I had to. So cheeks were clenched, clanched as I'm like running to go my morning poopsica. It's not cute. It's not cute. So like here is my open ended letter of buses and RVs. I should be able to in them. I should be able to wherever the I want to, but especially I should be able to on a tour bus or an rv. Thank you.
[00:08:09] Poop out.
[00:08:11] So yeah, so if you've been watching the podcast for the last two weeks. You know that we have our very first sponsor for the Sew yeah Podcast, and it is none other than the One on One Dance Consult. A game changing mentorship for dancers, choreographers and creatives ready to level up. Whether you're building your portfolio, shifting careers, or just want real talk from a real professional With Insider Secrets 101 Dance Consult gives you personalized support, real tools, and a strategy made just for you.
[00:08:46] And you know there are extra. So let me give it to you. You get full session recaps so you don't even have to worry about taking notes, which is amazing. We could say present in it. Just show up, get clarity, and it's all handled. Plus there's a free AI chatbot. So it's kind of like having an industry insider in your pocket 24 7.
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[00:09:45] So yeah, this part of the podcast is called Currently. And it's everything that I, Caroline M. Diamond, is currently reading, watching and listening to.
[00:09:56] So the past couple weeks I've been talking about reading demon Copperhead, my 550 page novel. Literally a novel. And I finally finished, was really good. I'm glad I read it.
[00:10:19] Would I pick it up and read it again?
[00:10:21] I got the hiccups.
[00:10:23] No, I wouldn't. And it's only because it was just like so intense. And like, as we've heard on the pod, I don't really love to like always be like sad and mopey and like just down. And it just made me feel too much. Like, I know, like being an empath is kind of like a buzzword now, but like I truly am an empath and I will take it on everybody's feelings and thoughts and like, energy and sometimes it's like too much for me to bear.
[00:10:51] So that's why I don't like, like sad things. And it's a sad book, but I'm really happy that I read it. I'm really happy that I finished it. I like, was zooming through like the last like, 100 pages, which felt good because it took so long. So long for me to start at the beginning. So Demon, Copperhead, Reddit, Woo. Finally did another book. We're at eight now.
[00:11:13] Eight. Hey. So as for what I'm currently listening to, Justin Bieber dropped a surprise album. And first of all, I'm a Belieber. Okay? That is. That is the Shayla. That is my Shayla. That is our Shayla. Justin Bieber is that girl and always has been that girl.
[00:11:35] And I really feel for him. Like, it's really sad for me to see, like, you know, just emotionally where he's at and physically and all that kind of stuff. It really reminds me of Aaron Carter. And Aaron Carter was like, literally my first man. Okay. My first concert. Get on that tea. Okay. Aaron's party. Come get it.
[00:11:54] But yeah, it's been hard to watch him over the past couple years just because, like, drugs are scary. And I just. And Pete and, you know, the elders in his life just did him so wrong. But anyway, he came out with a surprise album and, like, as I'm so happy for him to, like, create music and, like, do what he loves, it's not really, like, for me, per se.
[00:12:22] I, you know, I'm a pop girl. Like, give me, like, the pop anthems, and it was not giving that, like, where's the hits? Like, maybe Daisies. Like, I like that song. Like, there are songs I like, but it's kind of like, like sleepy hits, you know what I mean? And like, I do love R and B, but more than pop. No, like, I need, like, beauty and A beat.
[00:12:45] Beauty and A. Okay.
[00:12:48] So, yeah, it's really not like my fave, but I know, like, I'm not saying it's not good music, but it's not what I wanted him to do.
[00:13:01] Yeah.
[00:13:02] And finally, for what I'm watching, I.
[00:13:06] I missed it when it came out in theaters and I knew I would like it. One of them days. And it's Kiki Palmer, which is literally the millennial icon, the legend.
[00:13:18] Okay. And sza. And it's kind of like something that happens, like, all in one day, which I love movies that are all in one day kind of thing.
[00:13:27] And it's based on, like, Friday, the movie Friday with Ice Cube. It's really cute. I love female led comedies. I laughed a lot. SZA is not the best actress. She kind of is okay in the role that she's doing. But, like, is she not good?
[00:13:43] No, but, like, that's totally fine. And then one of my friends dwayne Perkins is in it. Hey, diva.
[00:13:50] And he. Killing it. He's killing it as the hairdresser. Okay, Braid it down. Braid it up. Okay. So that's it for this week's episode of so. Yeah.
[00:14:00] I hope you enjoyed it. And if you didn't, I'm still gonna talk, so it doesn't matter. And I just want to say thank you again to Dance Consult for sponsoring this show today. Get your 50 off. Yes, 50% off for your first session with One on One Dance Consult. Follow them on Instagram at Dance Consult. And just stay tuned for next week's episode. It's going to be amazing because life's amazing.
[00:14:33] So. Yeah.
